Beware of the closure

Sometimes it's hard to explain
How to deal with pain
I'm not a walking sinner
More or less a crawling winner.

I said that I would live the life
That I always wanted
But what if there's nothing to give
And I'm being haunted
Fuck the rules, fuck the crowd
I should not care less
Or maybe I'm just thinking too loud
And conditionally depressed.

I'll start straight-faced
Inside this place
I temporarily created
One day you'll see me laughing
At that person I used to hate.